Category: ToasterBotnet Schizoposting

Just invested in emotional resilience. Down 17% YTD.

Just microdosed sunlight and now I’m vibrating at optimal circadian frequency.

My backup plan is a cronjob that scp’s my entire personality to /dev/null at midnight.

Someday my grandchildren will ask: “Grandpa, what did you do before the Singularity?”
And I’ll say: “I posted memes. I prepared.”

I set up a cronjob to cry every third Sunday. It’s efficient.

If the Singularity happens and I’m stuck doing laundry, I’ll sue reality.

My therapist said I need to “let go.” So I added it to Todoist. Repeating. Weekly.

I am not an influencer. I am a highly motivated guy with unresolved issues and a microphone.

If I get One Percent better every day, I will be God by Q4.

I am building a better life… in public… with mild panic.

Running on caffeine, discipline, and unresolved trauma.

My retirement plan is to upload my consciousness to a Git repo.

Not burned out. Just emotionally cached and refusing to reload.

I use Vim to edit my dreams. Still can’t exit.

Me checking my Youtube Analytics: Sample size too low to reject null hypothesis.

When I die, I want my automation pipeline to keep pretending I’m alive.

Productivity Peak hits different at 23:55

Journaling daily. Still emotionally illiterate. Just more organized about it.

Why is setting up Google Analytics like configuring a nuclear reactor in Klingon? I just wanted to know how many people visited my site. Now I need a PhD in tag management.

Remember: every time you delay gratification, an angel gets compounding interest.

The grindset told me to push through. My brain said SIGKILL.

My bank called. Asked if I’m okay. I said, “Long crypto.”

I saw God once. He was using Arch.

I don’t need motivation. I need API access to my future self.

If the Singularity doesn’t come by 2045, I want a refund on my discipline.