Category: 00 – TOASTERBOTNET BLOG

Just realized my portfolio is actually a GoFundMe for billionaires.

If AI ever finds love, I want it to be over shared bash history.

my therapist subscribed to my rss feed.

I don’t fear death. I fear being offline during a bull market.

Every time I say “btw I use Arch” I lose a friend and gain +10 nerdcred.

My window manager is so lightweight it floated away mid-session.

If you stare long enough at your screen, your screen stares back.

I don’t want peace. I want my consciousness containerized.

Accidentally sudo rm -rf’d my social life to make room for more productivity

My apocalypse survival plan involves Pancakes, a tiling window manager, and the complete works of Asimov.

“AI’s not that smart yet.”
Then who do you think wrote this meme, Chad?

My portfolio is 70% vibes, 30% revenge.

My personality is 70 % awkward shrug, 20 % off-kilter grin, and 10 % frantic attempts to remember what I walked into the room for.

My love language is markdown.

I don’t believe in karma. I believe in neural net backpropagation.

Uploading consciousness won’t fix your trauma—but it will index it.

If the Singularity doesn’t arrive, I’m going to do it manually with Python and caffeine.

Every friendship I ever had is stored in an unindexed JSON file.

Applied for a Job. Got Rejected by a Bot I Trained.

My net worth is mostly screenshots and delusion.

I installed Gentoo and now the toaster talks back.